"Confesions in a Breakup. She said enough was enough

Every relationship comes with risks and benefits. With this Valentine's Day coming up. I wanted to Confess.

I have to confess that I have taken her for granted. I always expected her to be there to fill my needs. It didn't matter what time of day or night, if I needed her I expected her to deliver, and she did.

 I would be with her at home. making sure she was well seasoned and appetizing. She has been with me a very long time.

Other times I would go out and visit her at the WaWa or my favorite Chinese /Thai place. She would always be ready for me. Piping hot and ready for me.

I had used and abused her willingness to please me. I never, in my wildest dreams, ever thought that she would deny me, and this time she said an emphatic, "NO!" .

Last June I began having health problems . I went to doctors for all kinds of pain and digestive distress.  Originally, I was diagnosed with diverticulitis, a gastrointestinal disorder that caused a lot of pain and discomfort. The symptoms subsided , but never went away.

In October I started experiencing a resurgence of pain and discomfort. I was without medical insurance at the time and was trying to self heal.

She was giving me all of the signals that she was not happy. She told me that I had better start paying attention to her.  She also informed me that if I didn't listen there would be consequences. I ignore her and started to avoid her.

I didn't listen. My symptoms gradually worsened. By December I was desperate .

I had to go to the emergency room without any medical insurance and was worried about the cost of it all. The pain that she inflicted on me was so much that I had to go to the emergency room, cost be dammed .

I  was sent home on antibiotics.  She didn't even come near me . By the next week my symptoms had worsened  and  I returned to the hospital where they kept me for the weekend .

I asked her  "What have I done to you". She said that I took advantage of her. Forcing myself on her whenever I wanted and that these are the consequences. I had to leave her and break up. She no longer was the person that I knew. I avoided her,  even if we were in the same place.

A week later I was again in the hospital for almost a week. She never visited me . I was devastated without her . I began to loose weight. I had lost over 25 lbs over the breakup. I continued to loose weight. Is addition to the diverticulitis I also had Gastritis, that's when the stomach lining is inflamed due to the stomach acid thinning the stomach walls. For the next coming weeks I wondered if I would ever see her again.

After several weeks of pain I  started to feel better . I wanted to see her more and more of her. 

She started to visit me again in the last couple of weeks in small doses and told me that she was willing to reconcile if I met certain conditions.

The Conditions were:

1. Not taking her for granted and expecting her to see me more that 3 times daily.
2. I should not want more than I can have. 
3. Appreciate her more with less.
4. Don't expect her to be too spicy.
5. I have to take better care with my health.
6. Include little roughage every now and then.
7. A little exercise wouldn't hurt.   

Her name is Comida Buena  and we are back together .

Overall I lost 32 lbs and have started back at the gym. Most of the weight loss was due to the illness and not having an appetite. For a Foodie like me it was a tough hit. I just did not want to eat because the pain I was having.  I was thinking that I would have to find a way to live without food. I was missing simple things like morning coffee and eating for pleasure.

The weight loss is the silver lining in a long and arduous Illness that basically wiped me out for at least 4 months. I am just now getting my strength back.

My Love of Food has not diminished. 

I now take more time to plan and eat my meals. I just try to appreciate it more with less.  If dine out with my daughter, another foodie,  I usually split an item.

I plan on taking more care of myself and continue loosing weight. 

Happy Valentine's